oi, its izzy :3 breathe in, chill out, and welcome to...
so whats this? 彡★
the genderfolio is a journal for me to chronicle my experiences with HRT, social transition, and trans things in general. i started writing entries on obsidian right on my first day of HRT, then thought "woah, this would make a good dopestar page" and... here we are! i hope you enjoy this silly girl's silly thoughts and anecdotes. :3
(click to go back to the main page!)
01/09/23 - well chat... i'm completing two months on E today! thus i have deemed this day worthy a big big folio. lot's off upped ates :D
number one holy shit. i'm growing boobs. it was a possibility (read: going to happen) all along i was aware but it's actually happening now and AAAAA! I'M SO HAPPY!!! i'm around tanner stage 2? i think? they're not really hurting atm (though they have), but they're really really tender and wayyy more sensitive. my girlfriend loves them. i love them. i'm so happy i could cry :3
and speak of the devil... holy shit I'M sensitive. and emotional. wow estrogen is a hell of a hit. this week i've cried... every day but today. YET. i'm very very sensitive and prone to tears and all... to varying levels of true emotional distress – i might cry because of the deep-seated insecurities and worries of adult life, i might cry because an ant looked really really sad. who knows.
okay these are the two main effects i've been noticing! i can't say i've really seen much anything else, though three people complimented my skin and said it looks softer so uh. that seems to be happening!
anyway i'm so so so happy rn. it's still early and i've a looooooong road to go. but it seems i'm seeing some roadside attractions right now... :]
01/08/23 - changed to 1mg every six hours!
26/07/23 - changing my E distribution to be 2-1-1; 2mg in the morning, 1mg in the afternoon, 1mg in the evening. better distributed is all :]
19/07/23 - upped my dose to 4mg E! from twelve to twelve hours
15/07/23 - MY CYPRO CAME IN YESTERDAY!!! woo!!! i ordered three boxes of 50mg - 20 pills each, and considering im going to take 12.5mg daily (so i dont, yknow. get brain cancer), these are going to last me about *eight months*. so uh. what the fuck!!!
on another note though... i've been noticing my body these last couple weeks and... man, it's been such a journey up to here. and compared to last year, i'm. so so much happier with it. i got very slightly chubbier, but my thighs are bigger and fuller, and i have a nice butt (!) and stretch marks (!!!), which i love, and. a very loving girlfriend, who notices these along with me, and has been the greatest and most supportive person i could be with ♡♡♡. so this is a celebratory update. i'm happy with where i am right now, and how my body looks, and i'm so excited to go down this journey of hrt. whatever happens happens. i'm just glad to be here. :]
08/07/23 - built this page! and i'm feeling better from yesterday :D on not so feel good news, though... i was doing some research on dosages, and it seems like 1mg estradiol daily is definitely like, too low? a normal dosage should be 4mg, and a conventionally low dose is 2mg... so uh, that's definitely something :/ since i've been taking 1mg pills this week, i think i've decided to to take 2 pills daily instead... but that's going to double the cost of this whole thing, which is already not low, and aughhh. i just want this to work. i just want to not feel bad about my body anymore. why is that so hard. :(
07/07/23 - not a positive entry this time :/... woke up in the dead night feeling completely nauseous, need to vomit. all dark in the bedroom. i look down at my arms and my legs and torso and, i think i was dissociating? they didn't feel like they were mine, or even part of my body. it felt like they were different people. that thought filled my head. need to vomit. i sleep upstairs, bathroom's downstairs, and i could barely make it out of bed without tripping and falling. miraculously, i made my way to the toilet, and barfed it all out. fell asleep on the couch.
i spent the rest of the day sick, though the symptoms were more alike a common cold, so i don't think it was the E... the nausea though? after some reading, i think there's a good chance it was the estrogen.
05/07/23 - i got a cold the day before, and lost my voice to some strep throat, so me and my girlfriend spent the day talking in LIBRAS (brazilian sign language). i thought i hadnt anything funny going on... until i was bawling in the subway because i thought she wouldnt date me if i was deaf (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) (for the record she would). guess whats making me moody...
03/07/23 - took E in the morning, then in the afternoon my body started feeling a little funny, and i got really emotional and sensitive. i came close to crying a bunch, and kept hugging my gf (more than normal lol). could it be...??
01/07/23 - TOOK THE FIRST PILL! :D :D :D
30/06/23 - went to the doctor. we talked about my exams, my transition goals, all the stuff... he prescribed me 1mg estradiol and 25mg cyproterone daily. got the slip. bought the E!!! (pending on the blocker)
blood + hormone tests
17/03/23 ⤵
HEMÁCIAS/RBC: 5,38 mil/mm³
HEMOGLOBIN: 16,0 g/dL
HEMATOCRIT: 47,7%
TESTOSTERONE: 5,96 ng/mL
ESTRADIOL: 22 pg/mL
:: 𝔅ODYℭORE ::
body mods i have - or intend to get...
★ 𝖇𝖞𝖕𝖆𝖘𝖙 ★
⤷ pierced septum (09/06/23)
⤷ hormone replacement therapy (01/07/23)
★ 𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖔𝖗𝖊 ★
⤷ colored hair
⤷ pierced lobes
⤷ pierced helix
⤷ pierced eyebrow
⤷ tattoo: ˂/head˃ ˂body˃ (neck)
⤷ tattoo: stars
⤷ tattoo: estrogen
⤷ tattoo: neuter symbol
⤷ tattoo: transgender symbol
⤷ tattoo: transgender (bash lain)
⤷ tattoo: ascii art
⤷ tattoo: adventure time
⤷ tattoo: bee and puppycat
⤷ orchiectomy...?
my body may be a temple,
but i am the god
to whom it is devoted. ✿
